Why I Love You Are a Badass
Why do I always shout from the rooftops that I love You are a Badass by Jen Sincero? Why am I so obsessed with every word in it? Why do
I buy new copies all the time, then give them away to anyone who I feel needs to read it? Have you ever asked yourself if there are areas of your life that just don’t make you feel like you are living the best version of yourself? I’ve been there too. Is your follow up, “What do I do next?” I feel ya! The subtitle says it all: “How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.” Who wouldn’t want to pick that puppy up and dive right in?
So…how did I even stumble across You are a Badass anyway?? Let me share with you a very personal story that has taken me this long to share with others (other than my therapist and my garden of “rocks,” of course.)
Let me take you back to August 2015. At the time, the ONLY things I had going for me were my 13-year old, 10-year old and 6-year old. I lost my Mom suddenly a couple of years prior, had recently gotten divorced and had no career, no passion, no joy, no nada. I had been invited by an amazing family friend who wanted to send me out to L.A. from Florida to surprise his wife (one of my rocks) for her 40th birthday. I mean, *I* was her 40th birthday gift! Well, I am sure there was more than just me….but I was definitely part of the package. I was hanging on by an emotional thread at the time and was by definition, a total hot mess. Needless to say, I was a verrrrry dependent woman. Independence was nowhere near my vocab.
The night before my flight, I packed my bag with all of my fave things. That morning, I took my very first airport shuttle from my house, at the crack of dawn and in the pouring rain, to Miami International airport. That alone should have put me right over the edge (LOL – see, I can laugh at this all now!) I flew to L.A. and once I arrived at LAX, I was supposed to take some shuttle to a “fly away” bus which was going to take me to a train and then once at the train station in my friend’s town, her hubby was going to pick me up so that we could surprise her.
He basically could have told me I needed to hop on a space shuttle, for as scared and emotionally unstable to travel alone as I was.
I vividly remember waiting for my little purple suitcase to come around the crowded baggage carousel. I waited…and waited…and waited. No purple suitcase. No designer shoes. No designer jeans. No favorite belt. No full makeup bag. Nothing. All the beautiful things I had from my married life (and at the time, fully believed I would never have again) was lost. And I was all alone. Just me and my purse. Talk about a metaphor for my life. So now, as I sat on the floor of the lost baggage office, hysterically crying and hyperventilating over my lost bag (let’s be honest – my lost SELF,) a lady came from behind the Jet Blue desk and asked me if I needed serious medical attention. That’s when I called my sister. She told me to get up, head up the escalator to the ticket counter, and purchase a ticket to Phoenix, AZ so that she and our dad could help me get back on my feet. So that’s exactly what I did. Except, I was such a hot mess that I couldn’t speak, so I handed my cell phone to the ticket agent and my sister did the talking for me.
I texted my sweet friend and explained that I needed to be with my family at that very moment. That I was lost and broken. And the angel that he is, completely understood.
48 hours later, I was still sitting in my pjs on my sister’s couch in Scottsdale, just balling my eyes out. (Side note: They finally did find my luggage a couple of days after I got to Arizona. I have never been so grateful to see a purple suitcase in my life!) My sis finally dragged me out to a shopping mall because she had to pick up something for my niece at Urban Outfitters. I remember this day like it was yesterday. I was aimlessly wandering around the back of the store… totally dead inside. A bright yellow book was staring right back at me.
It yelled at me right from the cover, You are a Badass. I picked it up, skimmed a few pages, and dragged my feet to the check-out counter.
I threw myself into that book. Page after page, I was convinced that Jen was talking directly to me, obvi. I finally unearthed myself from the couch and remember actually perching myself up on a barstool in my sister’s kitchen and started to make lists.
First and foremost, I needed a job. Jen says, “Most answers reveal themselves through doing, not thinking,” and she urges you to just DO something, anything, instead of wasting time thinking about what the next right move is.
I had not worked since I was a Recruiting Manager when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter, 14 years prior. What was I into? Working out and wellness. I remember pulling out a fresh piece of blank paper and jotting down Runner’s Depot and LuluLemon. Maybe I wanted a retail job at a store I could relate to…. Hmmm, retail has tough hours for a single mom. I wrote down Meryl Brandwein Nutrition because she was a Nutritionist in my town and had a great reputation. I started brainstorming other ideas and ultimately decided to reach out to Meryl. I had asked her a few times at the gym in passing if she was looking for anyone part-time. She repeatedly told me that she thought she could use my help, but she wasn’t sure in what capacity. I had kept smiling and saying to her, “OK great, when you know, please let me know.” After reading much of Jen’s book at this point, that wasn’t going to cut it anymore. I sat down at my sister’s computer and composed an email to Meryl that pretty much said that I appreciated her uncertainty of her needs, but (nicely) said please shit or get off the pot. Lo and behold, it worked! She wrote me back that she would like me to come in the following week. Eureka – I got the job! Jen may be onto something here! This book literally catapulted me into action mode…no more playing victim of my own life. This book was an absolute game-changer for me….and I want that for anyone who needs a kick in the ass! I may not be the best at tough love….but Jen sure is.
You see, Jen gets right to the point – telling you that you need to go from wanting to deciding.
Think about that for a minute… We all want stuff. And everyone wants what they want – and like yesterday! For some it may be to be healthier; some may want to be more financially stable. Some want to be thinner. Some want to be more muscular. Some wish to travel and some wish to be in a loving relationship. Different strokes for different folks. So we sit on the couch wanting what we want. Talking about what we want. Wishing it would just happen already. Those 10 pounds should magically melt away. Our soulmate is going to just ring our doorbell and tell us they have been searching everywhere for us. That dream vacay has us drooling as we scroll through stunning photos online.
There’s just one problem. We haven’t DECIDED to take action and do anything necessary to get us to our goal.
My favorite quote from the whole book: “If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.” BOOM! She talks about raising your energy vibration level, limiting self-beliefs, getting rid of your stories, fear, owning your ugly, awareness, mindfulness, gratitude, forgiveness, comparison, losing track of time, meditation, and ALL the things I have come to love and practice on the daily. And she drops F-bombs on more than half the pages and when a chapter is called, “Lead with your Crotch,” you know you have found a gem.
Trust me – this book is EVERYTHING.
Once I put my pieces loosely back together again, kinda like Humpty Dumpty, I did end up flying back to Cali to celebrate my friend. They could not have been lovelier or more hospitable. Her hubby picked me up from the airport, with my fave Starbucks drink in hand and opened his arms for a huge hug. Talk about friends who are family…unconditional love that I can’t even put down into words.
Looking back, I see now that I needed to lose that purple suitcase to find myself, but in the end, it was all worth it.
It was the path I was meant to take because it lead me right here. Supporting and empowering others to do the same for themselves. I think we all get lost — really lost — at least once in this lifetime. It’s how we love ourselves *enough* to build the best toolbox we can. I honestly do believe it takes a village to raise and maintain a happy, healthy and most importantly THRIVING human. We should be celebrating our therapists, self-help books, masseuses, coaches, personal trainers, nutritionists, holistic healers, our rock garden of loved ones and most of all OURSELVES.
Because, after all, each and every one of us IS a badass!