I have something to admit. I am having a sort of existential crisis about my views on weight loss.

Up until now, I have been very vocal to my clients, to my family and friends, and even to the poor souls who get stuck next to me on an airplane, that life is WAY too short to count calories and macros. I have been shouting my message from the rooftops – that it’s exhausting and no way to live, that you should eat when you feel hungry, and stop when you feel full, and that relying on that alone will yield weight loss.

I was wrong.

More and more I am believing in BOTH tracking AND intuitive eating — and herein lies my issue – and this is exactly why I am left feeling torn.

Truth be told, I have never really been on a diet. Not even in college when girls were both starving themselves at home and killing themselves at the gym. I don’t think I saw the Rec Plex ONCE in four years, except on my initial college tour with my Dad – when all I wanted was to go to the smoothie bar. I maaaay also have fond memories of watching 90210 and Melrose Place on our apartment sofa eating Doritos – right outta of the bag — while my roommates went to the park to go for a run.

You can say I have good genes (I do) you can say I had a Mommy Makeover after my little one was born 12 years ago (I did) and you can say whatever else you want…I have heard it all. But I can also tell you that I have been working hard on myself for the last twelve years. Every. Single. Day. I have put in the work in some way, shape, or form.

I do believe in the 80/20 balance – it works very well for most. And I do think it’s an enjoyable, realistic and sustainable way to live. However, I am neglecting the fact that MOST Americans (45 MILLION Americans each year, to be exact) put themselves on some sort of diet or program. That’s a heck of a lot of people!

Which is exactly why I started tracking my macros. “But you don’t need to lose any weight,” I heard. “What are you, crazy?” I heard. No, I am not unhappy with my current weight. No, I am not crazy (at least I don’t think I am). But what I want to know is A) How does it feel to be more mindful with my eating and B) What parts of tracking are realistic to keep up. Because isn’t that the whole point? To learn how to LIVE well and EAT well for the rest of our lives?

So here’s where I stand now: tracking my nutrition IS a great idea. It is making me more aware than ever of my own eating habits, and also that being out of my comfort zone is truly a GREAT (and scary) thing to do. If nothing else, putting yourself “out there” – wherever “there” is – forces you to be a way more open-minded person.

Do I want to be inputting calories and macros into My Fitness Pal for the rest of my natural born days? Absolutely not. I still stand by my theory that life IS way too short for that! But, with structure comes a sense of control. And when we can master certain behaviors, our self-confidence grows. When our confidence grows, we allow ourselves to trust ourselves more, which then allows us to lean more on intuitive eating and lean less on external factors.

Speaking for myself, this kind of structure (for a finite amount of time) is giving me a clear distinction between what I THINK I eat and what I actually DO eat. This can only make me a more self-aware and educated consumer, as well as help me to make smarter eating decisions for the rest of my life.

I am excited to keep you posted about my own personal journey and would love to hear from you about yours. Where do you stand on this controversial topic? Reach out to me at nikki@nikkiwellness.com and let’s talk.

Xoxo,

N